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　　The first paragraph of your personal statement, one or two sentences, sh
ould make clear the purpose of your writing: to present an interpretive summ
ary of your background, academic interests, and future goals as justificatio
n for your admission to a program of graduate study.
　　The second paragraph interprets your background for the graduate admissi
ons committee. This paragraph should establish your academic preparation for
the program to which you have applied. If you have been a strong student th
roughout your undergraduate years, you may call attention to what you believ
e have been strong combinations of courses which seem to fit your prospectiv
e graduate program well. If you have had ups and downs as an undergraduate,
you may call attention to progressive improvement in your studies: i.e., the
difference between your junior/senior GPA and your freshman/sophomore GPA o
r your record in selected course work that is directly related to the kinds
of course work that you will undertake as a graduate student. If you scored
well on whatever graduate examination that you took, you may want to cite th
at fact as well. Keep in mind that graduate admissions committees want assur
ance that you will be a successful student. If you have had relevant experie
nces, you may mention them here, too. Some graduate programs such as applied
sociology or social work or resource development, etc. look for evidence th
at you have already sought out ways to translate your academic background in
to practical, professionally oriented applications. In short, this paragraph
should assure the graduate admissions committee that you have matured durin
g your undergraduate years, that your intellectual and professional interest
s have taken shape, and that you have begun a conscientious progress toward
professional development.
　　In this example format, the third paragraph will be a description of you
r professional goals. (This paragraph and the next, however, could be revers
ed.) Though your letter takes the general shape of a summary of your interes
ts and background, it also builds an argument for your admission to a partic
ular graduate program. The logic of this argument runs this way: I know what
interests me; I know that I would like to engage in this work as my profess
ion; and I believe that the necessary, most logical way to assure me of succ
ess in this profession is to earn this graduate degree. This paragraph descr
ibes what you know about the professional careers to which this course of gr
aduate study may lead. Generally, people who pursue graduate degrees tend to
ward any of four professional occupations: academic, public service, private
industry, or self-employment (i.e., writers, lawyers, physicians, etc.). Th
ough you do not have to commit yourself to one career only, you are best ser
ved by presenting to the admissions committee as specific as ideas as possib
le about what you intend to do with their degree. If you know that you would
eventually like to be a business consultant specializing in labor market an
alysis, say so. Such a statement indicates to the committee that you are goa
l oriented, that you are capable of identifying what you want and of develop
ing a systematic means to attain it. This paragraph, in conjunction with the
previous one, assures the admissions committee that you are an applicant wi
th a purpose.
　　The fourth paragraph, which describes what you intend to study in gradua
te school, should tighten your argument. Now that you have made clear your i
nterests, background, and professional goals, you must make the case that th
e best way for you to bridge your undergraduate years and your successful pe
rformance as a professional is to study what this particular graduate progra
m offers. Be as specific as you can. Learn what courses this graduate progra
m offers. Identify its faculty members and what research they are conducting
. Know the program's reputation, its strengths and its weaknesses. Your unde
rgraduate professors can be of very great assistance in this regard. If, say
, you are interested in pursuing advanced work in cognitive psychology, your
application will not be most appropriately sent to a department that is try
ing to make its name in industrial/organizational behavior. As you describe
your reasons for applying to this particular program try to link your intere
st with what you know is available through that program and its parent colle
ge or university. If you know that it encourages practicum experience, somet
hing you want, say so. If some of your undergraduate texts or assignments ha
ve utilized materials produced by that program, say so. Offer suggestions ab
out combinations of courses or faculty advisors that you think might be espe
cially imaginative or productive. This paragraph, thus, accomplishes two end
s: you place this graduate program in the continuum of your own professional
development and you demonstrate that you have applied to it as the result o
f an informed, reflective selection process of your own.
　　Your personal statement should close with a brief summary of your backgr
ound and goals, again just a sentence or two. This last statement reaffirms
both your preparation and your confidence that your choice of this graduate
program is right.

怎样写Statement（四)
　　The graduate school personal statement is your chance to demonstrate you
r unique qualifications for and commitment to graduate study by discussing t
hose experiences, people, and events that influenced your decision to pursue
your field of interest.
　　That's a lot to accomplish--especially in the typical two pages allowed
for your personal statement. You can find the key to success by focusing on
a few illustrative incidents as opposed to giving a superficial overview. Re
member: Detail, specificity, and concrete examples will make your essay dist
inctive and interesting. Generalities and platitudes that could apply to eve
ry other graduate school applicant will bore. If you use them, you'll just b
lur into one of the crowd.
　　Following "Ten Do's and Don'ts for Your Personal Statement" will help yo
u write a compelling, focused essay, one that will transform you from a coll
ection of numbers and classes into an interesting human being.
　　Ten Do's and Do'ts for Your Personal Statement The Do's Unite your essa
y and give it direction with a theme or thesis. The thesis is the main point
you want to communicate. Before you begin writing, choose what you want to
discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it. Use concrete examples
from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself f
rom other applicants. Write about what interests you, excites you. That's wh
at the admissions staff wants to read. Start your essay with an attention-gr
abbing lead--an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of a scen
e. End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to the lead and restate
s your thesis. Revise your essay at least three times. In addition to your e
diting, ask someone else to critique your personal statement for you. Proofr
ead your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape
recorder and playing back the tape. Write clearly, succinctly.
　 The Don'ts
　 Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis.
　 Don't start your essay with "I was born in...," or "My parents came from.
.."
　 Don't write an autobiography, itinerary, or résumé in prose. Don't try
to be a clown (but gentle humor is OK).
　 Don't be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't
answer the essay question.
　 Don't try to impress your reader with your vocabulary.
　 Don't rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling.
　 Don't provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes.
　 Don't give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores. Don't
make things up.
怎样写Statement(五)
　　Structuring Your Personal Statement
　　You're sitting in front of the computer screen. Your word processing pro
gram is open, but the screen is blank. You've been staring at it for what se
ems like an eternity. You don't know where to start or where to go. What are
they looking for? How are you supposed to write it?
　　The cause of your frustration? An application essay. You can write appli
cation essays in many different ways, but the human interest story provides
an effective model for writing your essay and easing your frustration. You r
ead human interest stories in newspapers and magazines all the time. They ar
e popular and effective because they engage the reader's interest, persuade
him or her of the writer's point of view, and sell periodicals. Similarly, a
n application essay or personal statement must engage the admissions staff,
convince them of your viewpoint, and sell you.
　　Human interest stories typically have the following structure: lead, the
sis, body, conclusion. Using that structure for your personal statement prov
ides you with a framework around which to build your essay.
　　Begin with a lead, also called a hook. A lead is usually a brief anecdot
e, a question, a startling statistic or quote, or a gripping description of
a scene. The lead has a very important job: hooking the reader. Any writer w
ill tell you that the first few lines of an article, ad, or letter determine
the success of that piece. And the same is true for your essay. Put your mo
st interesting tidbit at the beginning.
　　Now that you have the reader's attention, tell him/her the point of your
essay--the thesis. The thesis can be a one-sentence summary or road map of
your personal statement. It typically follows the lead and introduces the bo
dy, the longest section of your paper.
　　The body provides evidence to support your thesis. In writing the body a
void generalities and platitudes; give concrete examples from your life. Wri
ting about specific experiences has a number of advantages:
　　Specifics keep the reader's attention more effectively than generalities
.
　　Drawing on situations in your life will distinguish you from other appli
cants who superficially may be very similar to you.
　　All good things must end; so too must your essay end with a conclusion.
The conclusion ties up the essay by briefly referring back to the lead, rest
ating the thesis, and if relevant, mentioning some long term goals.
　　Lead, thesis, body, conclusion. That is the structure of a successful hu
man interest story and personal statement. After all, the effective personal
statement really tells a human interest story--a human interest story about
you.
怎样写Statement（六)
　　Ten Tips
　
　　1. Express yourself in positive language. Say what is, not what is not.
　　2. Use transitions between paragraphs. Transitions tie one paragraph to
the next. A transition can be a word, like later, furthermore, additionally,
or moreover; a phrase like After this incident...; or an entire sentence.
　　If you are writing about Topic A and now want to discuss Topic B, you ca
n begin the new paragraph with a transition such as "Like (or unlike) Topic
A, Topic B..."
　　3. Vary your sentence structure. It's boring to see subject, verb, objec
t all the time. Mix simple, complex, and compound sentences.
　　4. Understand the words you write. You write to communicate, not to impr
ess the admissions staff with your vocabulary. When you choose a word that m
eans something other than what you intend, you neither communicate nor impre
ss. You do convey the wrong message or convince the admissions committee tha
t you are inarticulate.
　　5. Look up synonyms in a thesaurus when you use the same word repeatedly
. After the DELETE key, the thesaurus is your best friend. As long as you fo
llow Tip 4, using one will make your writing more interesting.
　　6. Be succinct. Compare:
　　　During my sophomore and junior years, there was significant developmen
t of my maturity and markedly improved self-discipline towards school work.
　　　During my sophomore and junior years, I matured and my self-discipline
improved tremendously. The first example takes many more words to give the
same information. The admissions people are swamped; they do not want to spe
nd more time than necessary reading your essay. Say what you have to say in
as few words as possible. Tips 7, 8, and 9 will help you to implement this s
uggestion.
　　 7. Make every word count. Do not repeat yourself. Each sentence and eve
ry word should state something new.
　　 8. Avoid qualifiers such as rather, quite, somewhat, probably, possibly
, etc.
　　 You might improve your writing somewhat if you sometimes try to follow
this suggestion. The example contains nonsense. Deleting unnecessary qualifi
ers will strengthen your writing 1000%. Equivocating reveals a lack of confi
dence. If you do not believe what you write, why should the admissions offic
er?
　　 9. Use the active voice. Compare:
　　 The application was sent by the student. Passive voice The student sent
the application. Active voice They both communicate the same information. T
he active voice, however, is more concise; it specifies who is performing th
e action and what is the object. The passive voice is wordier and frequently
less clear.
　　 10. Read and reread Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. W
hite. Containing basic rules of grammar, punctuation, composition, and style
, this indispensable classic is available in paperback and is only eighty-fi
ve pages long.
怎样写Statement（七)
　　Make It Personal!
　　When I lecture about writing personal statements, I perform the followin
g experiment: I ask my audience four or five general, superficial questions
about their backgrounds and goals nd ask for a show of hands. For example,
"How many of you feel your courses have prepared you to succeed in graduate
or professional school?" "How many of you have had work or volunteer experie
nce that is relevant to your career goals?" OK, you have the idea. Usually,
all or the overwhelming majority of the hands go up. Then I ask, "Why did I
ask these questions?" Someone will usually say, "Because we're all the same.
"
　　But of course my audience is not "all the same." And you are not the sam
e as those you are competing against--unless you write on a very general and
superficial level. If you write on the same level that I asked my questions
, you will fail to distinguish yourself from your competition.
　　You need to use your unique experiences and specific details from those
experiences to bring you and your essay to life. Don't write about volunteer
ing for the homeless; write about Joe, the homeless, Vietnam vet with the to
othless smile who taught you something specific that you will carry with you
. Don't write about your trip to Europe; write about watching a Gypsy troupe
perform a Rachmaninoff concerto that you had played many times, but never u
nderstood before sitting under that grimy circus tent in the Ukraine. Many s
tudents can write about volunteering for the homeless or traveling in Europe
, but only you can write about your memorable experiences and their impact u
pon you. Those unique anecdotes will be how admissions officers remember you
and your essay.
　　In addition to distinguishing you from your competition, experiences and
anecdotes are much more interesting to read than generalities and platitude
s. Think about the lecturers who just give the theory and principles and com
pare them to those who bring the theory alive with real examples and anecdot
es. I'll take the latter any day.
　　Do you want to write a memorable essay that is truly revealing of your u
nique experiences and personality? Use specifics. They will bring your essay
to life.
怎样写Statement（八)
　　我友给我来一信,其中有些东东我想会对诸位申请者有所启迪.
　　I took some time to read your statement. It's telling. Anyway, I talked
with the chair of our department today and asked about his opinion on what h
e expects one to be. He gave me a few points:
　　First, you need to show why you're interested in biology. It could be ju
st a brief history, a class or something that turned on your interest. But d
on't give the impression of being too romantic. He told me about a bad state
ment, in which a Chinese student told the story of when he was 2 years old a
nd his mother showed him a tadpole and he's been interested in biology ever
since then and bla bla bla...
　　Second, tell what kind of field you would want to work in. Don't be too
specific because if there's no one in the department doing such a thing, the
committee will think you won't be satisfied when you get here. So, you may
check first to make sure that the research area you want in represented in t
he department.
　　Third, tell why you want to be a Ph.D. This is generally showing that yo
u're interested in research.
　　I told them you have been in the lab. 'Them' means the chair and his wif
e. They said you should stress that in your statement. I think you can write
about what your lab is doing, what kind of experimental techniques are you
using and what your role is in there.
　　They also said that they are looking for someone with genuine interest i
n biology research and they expect this expressed in the statement. Since yo
u've been working so long, you can sound more mature or formal when describi
ng your lab experience. And, don't make the statement too long, they get tir
ed out before reaching the end. You can have your script read by some other
teachers and have some feedback on what they think of it.